don’t fuck with me like this we all know this shit isn’t going to be rationed unless you’re on a deserted fucking island what the fuck skittles are you trying me because I’ll pour your bag of assorted rainbow oval candies down my throat quicker than you can apologize for your sorry ass packaging damn skittles got me all fired up this isn’t what I pay taxes for so don’t fucking joke around about things like this skittles
My cousin is always watching Everybody Loves Raymond in the other room while I’m on the computer. I always hear Raymond’s voice. His deep, throaty voice, like a hungover toad. It’s very unique. Sometimes I continue to hear the thick grog of Ray Romano long after the television is off. Ray tells me things. Ray tells me horrible, horrible things. And I listen.